Monday, April 04, 2011

Thoughts of the Past - X

15 minutes had past and not a single word had been spoken. For years, Ryan was not close to Rya either geographically or emotionally but all of a sudden, she seemed to be far far away from him. His right on her no longer seemed justified. He had never felt this hollowness before. In his run for friendship, he lost love. There were many things he wished to undo now but he just could not. With time, relationships change but he did not wish this to happen. The thought of seeing Rya with someone else tortured him. Rya was not any other girl. He had been in love with her for the past eight years. It was difficult to forget each and every memory of her. The pangs of loneliness killed him.

She did not anticipate this. She had taken a long time to move on and she was still not sure if she was completely over him. In front of her sat the guy whom she had loved profoundly,for years.He was her first love. Had this particular day happened a few years before, she would have been the happiest person but today, she did not know if it happened for good or bad.She wanted to hit him hard. She knew she belonged to someone else now. She was happy. She did not want all of this. To love someone and then be loved back was the best that could happen to anyone but when time frames are different, it is hell. She wished Ryan never told her.She loved someone else too.She hated Ryan for being a coward. She hated him for his mask of lies. She had many questions to ask Ryan but right now,only one seemed worthy. She liked the way Ryan kept looking at her when she did not look at him since college, but today, it seemed uncomfortable. She broke the silence finally.

"What took you so many years?"

"I don't know but does it really matter ?" - said Ryan.

" Yes it does. You have hurt me Ryan, not once but twice. I don't think you have the right to do this to me. It was not easy to forget you and now when I have, you don't let me to."

"You think its easy for me? Rya, I did not want to lose you as a friend. I was afraid. You have been the only one for me all these years. Had I known that there was someone else in your life, I would not have  come back to you.Forgive me for this but I have loved you too much to hurt you - even in my dreams."

"You are a coward Ryan and I am so glad I am not with you." - said Rya with disgust and stood up to leave.

" One final question Rya" - said Ryan and looked towards Rya expectantly.Rya looked back.

"Are you over me?May be we can work this out - together".

"I don't want to Ryan. Not because someone else loves me but because even I do."

Rya left.

Ryan was blank.The world didn't seem a friendly place.He wanted to run away from everyone. He had fallen in love with solitude instantly.He did not want to meet anyone. He missed Rya badly. He wanted to escape from everyone.He realized what he had lost only after he did.

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Aditi and Anand's Marriage Ceremony

They tied the knot. Aditi and Anand were formally husband and wife. Legalizing a relationship had a beautiful meaning. They looked happy, after years. It was not just any happiness. There was a sense of accomplishment which nothing could replace.Rya and Ryan were also present but as two strangers who had never met before. Occasionally their eyes met but it was unnerving. Rya tried to avoid Ryan but he did not want to. He wanted to confront her and he knew not why. He still wanted to believe that she would come back to him. Illusions were projections of what we want to happen and Ryan wanted to drown himself in it.

The next day, Rya left for airport.Rya did not tell Aditi anything about Ryan. She did not want to spoil her best day.Aditi and Anand accompanied her to the airport.Aditi hugged her and wished her good luck.At the final call of departure, Rya looked towards Aditi and said "Take care of Ryan. He needs you and Anand".She had tears in her eyes when she said this but before anyone could ask her anything, she left and never looked back.

Aditi and Anand did not understand it but as they came out of the airport, they found Ryan standing outside, lost and forlorn.Suddenly everything seemed crystal clear.

"Come. Let's go" - said Anand and took Ryan along with them as they left the airport.

(To be continued...)

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